Baby Talk

My Dragon Princess,

You are almost a year old now.

I walk in the loft, coming from a meeting, and I immediately see your face light up at the sight of me.

You call out for me in a bright excited scream, and in your jabber I understand that you wanted to be carried. And so I carry you as you speak gibberish while staring into my face; you speak with a weird inflection with just the right pauses that I make out different words from your stammering.

I almost feel sorry that I don’t understand baby talk, but from the excited tone in your voice, I decipher that you just told the story of a happy afternoon playing with a ball that has a bell inside, and that you missed me. I know that you did, because you ended your sentence by softly touching your forehead to my cheeks. I’ve long figured that this gesture equates to a kiss. Because of this, you achieve in melting my heart and so I plant a kiss in your chubby cheeks to return the favor.

I decide that we go to the pool area to spend time together, I still have a few minutes to spare before I go back to writing a script I had to finish. 

So in the pool area, we hang out to practice your walk. I hold your hands for support as you wobble your way into a standing position. At once, you immediately head towards the pool with a determined look in your face. It’s obvious that you want to jump in the water; I can see it in your eyes. 10 months old and you already love to swim.

You aren’t wearing a swimsuit so I say no and carry you away from the pool. You complain for a bit but I explain that it’s too hot and you aren’t properly dressed, so you stop and busy yourself with my cellphone. You pretend to make a phone call and I laugh at you. You giggle because I got your joke.

It’s time that we go back down, so I hold you real tight and break into a run, traversing the pool area towards the elevator in a single breath. You squeal a couple of light-hearted laughs. Speed always makes you happy. Maybe that’s why you grow up so fast. Or maybe you’re just growing up at just the right pace and I’m just not noticing. Time is subjective and the perception of it is influenced by feelings; and with you it feels like a spark, fleeting and something you cannot wholly grasp.

Night starts to fall and our time together is up. There are other things I must attend to so I leave you for now. As I set out to go to a random coffee shop to wrestle with stories and make a living, I stop by your pen and your knowing stare breaks my heart. You babble a few words bereft of the bright tones you had earlier. I may not know your words but sometimes I do sense their meaning. You bend your neck to lean your forehead towards me, and once more I meet it with a kiss. “Goodbye my Princess and I love you too,” I reply. I know that someday we’ll speak the same words, but for now I’m cool with us understanding each other with our hearts.

“I’ll be back before you could say ‘Daddy’,” I add before I turn to leave. As I walk towards the door, I feel my soul wishing that you already could.